"B" Jokes
Baked Bean Story
Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans.
He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction
on him. One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it was apparent that they
would marry, he thought to himself, She'll never go through with the marriage
with me carrying on like this, so he made the supreme sacrifice and gave up
beans. Shortly after that they were married...
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Balls
After a 2 year study, the National Science Foundation announced the following
results on America's recreational preferences:
1. The sport of choice for unemployed or incarcerated people is: Basketball.
2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is: Bowling.
3. The sport of choice for blue-collar workers is: Football.
4. The sport of choice for supervisors is: Baseball.
5. The sport of choice for middle management is: Tennis.
6. The sport of choice for corporate officers is: Golf
Conclusion: The higher you rise in the corporate structure, the smaller your
balls become.
Bank Deposit
A crusty old man walks into a bank and says to the teller at the window, "I want
to open a damn checking account."
The astonished woman replies, "I beg your pardon, sir. I must have misunderstood
you. What did you say?"
"Listen up, damn it. I said I want to open a damn checking account now!"
"I'm very sorry sir, but that kind of language is not tolerated in this bank."
The teller leaves the window and goes over to the bank manager to inform him of
her situation. The manager agrees that the teller does not have to listen to
foul language.
They both return to the window and the manager asks the old geezer, "Sir, what
seems to be the problem here?"
"There is no damn problem," the man says. "I just won 50 million bucks in the
damn lottery and I want to open a damn checking account in this damn bank,
okay?"
"I see," says the manager, "and this bitch is giving you a hard time?"
Birds And The
Bees
One afternoon a little girl excitedly approached her mother and announced "I
have learned from a boy at school where babies come from."
Amused, her mother replied, "Really, sweetie? Why don't you tell me about it?"
The little girl explained, "Well... Okay! The mommy and daddy take off all their
clothes and the daddy's thing sort of stands up and then the mommy puts it in
her mouth and has to suck it a lot like a lollipop and then it sort of explodes
and that's it! That's where babies come from!"
Her mom shook her head, leaned over to meet her daughter eye to eye, and said,
"Oh, honey, that's sweet, but that's not where babies come from. That's where
jewelry comes from."
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